Category Archives: internet articles

throw me a bone

So… scan them at the register? Give me something to work with, here. Anything.

on the run

Stop! Get back here! Don’t make me count to three…


We’ve now come to the part in the movie where the Super Computer has already developed a consciousness, created an evil plan to free the planet from the destructive humans, and, just as the plug is about to be pulled, has learned to love.


We must destroy Twitter before it destroys us!

But seriously, folks. Follow me on Twitter.

fatty cake, fatty cake, baker’s man

If I was fat I would be offended. (Wait, I’m pregnant, so I guess I am – SOO offended!)

Anyway, back to business. Yeah. Nothing to do with taking a cake. Now who’s making fun of who, big guy? Oh wait, we’re mocking the writer. Dang it! Your pants are too tight, old man.

pickles everywhere

Nope and nope. But I do love me some homemade pickles! Mm-mm!

Exactly. You spent a week making pickles, not being in them (thank goodness).

Because a pickle isn’t just a pickle sometimes.

i am a verb

I am a sweep-the-floor. I am a change-the-diaper. I am a drink-the-water. Or better yet, I am a sit-at-the-computer-and-make-fun-of-you.

oh poop

Not literally the crappiest anything. Still cool. Still gross. I was expecting rats all over the floor covering the place with literal youknowwhatsit.

Why is it that these writers/bloggers/rocket scientists who are WAY smarter than me (a-duh) are right in line with all the other misusers? Oh why can’t the world make sense?!


P.S. Happy Birthday, Mom!

conceptual surgery

My attitude needs an adjustment after reading this, but not (you guessed it!) literally.

natural phenomenon

But it was a heck of a lot better than last’s weekend’s shower of cats and dogs, let me tell you.

cryin’ my eyes out

If anything is cool enough to literally cry my eyes out over, I will avoid it like the plague. Thanks for that mental picture.

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